#so I thought maybe I'd say. hey if this interests you! you have options!

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Grass

Debut: Super Mario Bros. 2

Hey guys! Did you know that Super Mario Bros. 2 was originally a reskin of a game called Puck-Man, but they changed the name so people wouldn't vandalize the cabinets and make it say Q*bert? Anyway here's Grass

I hope you like Grass. I hope there are some ruminants among our readers who get so hyped upon seeing a depiction of grass. But I don't care about the grass itself. I care about what's underneath... Funny Vegetables! The kind to throw at a Shy Guy or a Tweeter! Let's look at each Vegetable's NES and SNES design, and discuss them!

Turnip is the most iconic of the These Vegetables. Not the most iconic vegetable, but the most iconic Mario Vegetable. It's the main one that gets referenced, reappears as of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker, and is even part of Peach's Smash moveset! Where they make even more variants that I don't feel like getting into here for the sake of post length. I quite like Turnip's classic brow(s), though they would be removed, along with the mouth, in future iterations. Such is brand identity.

In Minion Quest and Bowser Jr.'s Journey, Shy Guys' main method of attack is throwing turnips! I like that a lot. It references their debut and is just a very whimsical thing!

I would expect to pull up a turnip from the ground, but lookie here! A couple of Fruits. It's unclear if these are pumpkins or bell peppers, and they come in red and green, which are both options for both fruits! Neither of the options, however, grow underground, so maybe they were playing hide-and-seek. It would explain their surprised expressions! They thought that was such a good hiding place, and it was! Also, I am not averse to calling these fruits vegetables. "Vegetable" is just a culinary term, referring to a part of a plant that we eat! Every fruit is a vegetable. Blueberry pie is a Vegetable Dessert. Words are fun!

Beet is the happiest vegetable we've seen so far! But oddly thin. I hope it's not malnourished! If it is, it's still optimistic, and that's commendable. Maybe it's happy because it was voted Most Likely To Be Pickled in the vegetable high school year book! (Cucumber was homeschooled)

Beet was so thin, and now Parsnip is so wide! It feels like their colors should have been swapped, maybe. But a Parsnip Muncher would delight in having so much more to munch here! A parsnip you could eat like an apple! I am not sure what Parsnip is thinking, with its very neutral expression. If I had a nickel for every time I couldn't tell what a parsnip was thinking, I'd be rich!

Tomato is my favorite! It's SO happy! The biggest smile around! So happy to be a tomato! Maybe it's thinking about how everyone loves tomatoes and how versatile they are! Maybe it's happy because THIS fruit is never buried underground- this and the following vegetable only appear from the Dream Machine during the final boss battle against Wart. I guess Wart doesn't like tomatoes. So not everyone does... but phooey to him, because he's a Bad Guy! We goody two shoeses love Tomato!

Finally, last but not least, is a quite interesting vegetable! This one is a bit mysterious, a bit ambiguous. Ambiguous whether it's an onion or a garlic. Ambiguous whether it's wearing thick glasses, or it has wide, pupilless eyes. I'm going to claim this vegetable as non-binary, and also establish "onion/garlic" as a binary. And then all humans will become non-binary...! What I can be sure of is that this allium looks like a nerd. "According to my calculations, my presence serves to enhance the flavor of any culinary delight!" Ok, dork! I love you.

So these have been Vegetables! I hope you liked them! And I also hope you like them in real life, That's Health! This post was funded and approved by the FDA. Can I say that? What are they going to do about it? Sue me? Kill me? Hopefully neither!

[mornyavie]

I don't think that this post about our society lacking "exercise as play" is wrong per se so I'm making my own, but if you have a public park nearby there is a very strong chance that you can go to one on a weekend afternoon and find a lot of people playing sports for fun and exercise, so I encourage you to look for that kind of opportunity if this resonates with you!

My city has free adult recreation leagues for soccer, cricket, kickball, ultimate frisbee, tag football... etc, and low-cost (like 15$ for a season) leagues for teams that need developed spaces like basketball and tennis.

And that's just the officially organized leagues, not counting people who just do it on their own.

Of course availability and level of formality will vary based on your location, and on how much you enjoy the particular sports on offer, but for some people "exercise as play" is already the norm, it's worth looking into!

[venusjaynie]

baby names ~ blurb

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: a cute little scenario about discussing possible baby names with your husband chris.

cw: pregnancy, a lot of dialogue

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"what about... chris junior?" your husband turns to you with a smirk.

"we've been over this. he is not having your name." you say with an exasperated eye roll, though you don't fight the smile that graces your lips.

"i know, baby, i'm just teasin'. and bernard is definitely out?" you stare at him blankly in response.

"i know you aren't even serious about that." he just laughs at you. his laughter dies down and the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, with chris slowly rubbing your bump. you're around the 5 month mark now, and you couldn't be more excited, however the discussion of a name has been long winded, and hasn't just included you and chris. "what was nick's suggestion again?"

"nick originally said jimmy, which i vetoed. i love my dad but c'mon. then he said william." chris' reaction to the name didn't show much interest.

"that's nice but he just doesn't feel like a william, y'know?" you say to chris.

"i agree. matt suggested jonathan, which i didn't really like. mom still thinks he's actually a girl 'cause she says sometimes the scans can pick things up wrong." he says while looking at you, and you hum in acknowledgement.

"maybe she's right? sometimes they are wrong. it might be worth having a few girl options just incase, right?" he nods in agreement.

"what about... christina?"

"chris!"

"kidding, kidding. i like isabella." he says seriously.

"isabella... that's pretty. i like that one. that can be an option." he smiles in satisfaction that one of his suggestions has been received well. "i really like daisy, too." chris hums thoughtfully.

"me too." he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. "hey, if we do have a boy, what about theo?" a smile graces your face.

"i like theo, but can his full name be theodore so we can call him teddy?" you ask sweetly, and chris chuckles quietly.

"sure thing, babe. teddy sturniolo. he sounds like a fuckin' badass." his seriousness makes you giggle.

the two of you fall into that comfortable silence again, and chris runs his hand up and down your thigh gently.

"hey, i'm really happy i got you pregnant."

"that's an strangely romantic sentiment, where did that come from?" you ask teasingly, to which he shrugs.

"i don't know, it's just that, i never thought i'd have kids this young 'cause i'm immature as fuck, y'know? but you make me think i can be a really good dad." your heart practically melt at his answer, until he says "and obviously you look hot as fuck with my baby in you." and your smile drops, unamused. he doesn't even redact his words as you know that he means well, and as much as he's crass and crude, he is genuinely glad that the two of you are starting a little family. you reach up to press a swift kiss to his cheek as matt enters the room.

"did you guys decide on a name yet?" he asks, walking over to the two of you.

"yeah, i think we're gonna go with bernard." you say, deadly stone-faced, and you receive a death glare in response from matt, followed by a burst of laughter from your husband.

"tell me you're kidding." he says.

"of course, matthew, we are not calling our child bernard." he breathes what can only be called a sigh of relief.

"what did you pick then?"

"as of right now, we're pretty set on theodore." you tell him, running your hand over your stomach, and matt's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise.

"theodore, huh? never heard either of you mention that one before."

"yeah, we just thought of it." chris chimes in. "y/n says we can call him teddy, and i said we can call him theo, so there's plenty of nickname potential there."

"that's really cool, guys. i can't wait to meet my nephew. or niece, according to mom." matt says with a laugh. "hey, maybe it's twins and you guys just don't know yet. y'know how sometimes they can't see it on the scan? imagine if that happened to you guys. that would be insane."

matt's words make you freeze up a little. you hadn't even thought of that possibility, and while having twins would be fun, you're nervous enough for one, never mind two.

"i never even thought of that." you say with wide eyes, and matt can clearly sense the nervousness his words brought you.

"it's probably not twins, uh, they can almost always tell. you'll be fine!" he says quickly. feeling uncomfortable in the situation he created, matt awkwardly mutters out a 'sorry' and steps out of the room.

"and, babe, even if it is twins, we're gonna be amazing parents, yeah? and you're so strong so carrying those kids is gonna be light work for you, right?" chris says comfortingly. you nod, and relax again into chris' side.

you have to admit, the thought of having twins is exciting.

"yeah, it'll be fun." you say with a small smile. "we could get them little matching-but-not-matching outfits!"

"alright, sweetheart, don't get ahead of yourself, we don't even know if we're having twins yet." chris replies with a laugh.

"i know, i know. i'm just excited. and anyways, i've got another scan in a couple of weeks, so we'll know by then." he nods in response.

"imagine two mini versions of us running around." he says, secretly ecstatic at the thought of having twins.

"daisy and theo."

"fuckin' coolest duo in boston."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this sucks ass :)

[daenysx]

Hey bby, what about more old money aemond? i loved himm

i love him too!! you can send more for old money aemond if you want, i'd happily try and write for him <33333

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader

"maybe we should have some coffee." you tell aemond. "i don't think i can stay on my feet, i'll probably fall asleep during the speeches."

aemond holds your waist, the suit he's wearing fits him perfectly. his hair is straightened, falls on his shoulders gracefully, and he chose his tie matching with your dress. his thumb rubs a slow circle on you, you lean towards him without meaning to.

"if you feel so tired, we can stay at home." he says, pulling you for a half hug. his arm covers your shoulders and he helps you lean to his chest. you can give all your weight to him and he'd happily hold you.

"your mother says it's important." you tell him with a hushed voice. "it's the event before the winter gala of starks, she told me they'll probably announce new deals tonight."

you are close with alicent and aemond knows how his mother likes to keep up their appearances nice in business. she talks to you about this stuff, your interests and career options lie elsewhere but you still engage closely to aemond's job. you care about the opportunities, how other people view targaryens, and all the things that come with these.

"that's right." aemond agrees, his lips making a straight line on your hair as he gives you a faint kiss. "still, it's nothing more important than your wellbeing. i got people to handle things for us."

you wrap your arms around his waist. your heels must hurt you if you're tired, aemond thinks, but you look gorgeous in this dark blue dress. people get affected by you, he knows, the way you carry yourself in a room and your gentle yet clever eyes. they will try to talk to you tonight, maybe ask you about aemond and his family, or maybe about what you plan on doing with your degree.

he wants to stay at home with you, alone.

"it's good if they see you in person." you say, his heart beating under your ear. "can i get a cup of coffee, please?"

he makes an eye contact with one of his assistants who checks some stuff on his laptop. you stay pressed against aemond until your coffee arrives, his hand is a comfort on your back.

"i actually have something for you." aemond says, you take a step back to see him. "um- it was ready a few days ago actually but i thought you'd like to see it now, after you told me you'll wear a low neck dress tonight."

nothing about this is surprising, aemond always does that. he finds new excuses to buy you gifts, anything he thinks you'll like. the velvet box he gets from the table reveals a diamond necklace, it looks like it's made for the dress you're wearing right now. it'll make your collarbones show more then they already do, you love the idea.

"this is perfect." you tell him honestly, amazed by how well he knows you. "thank you, my love."

"can i help you wear it?"

it looks just like aemond imagined on you before, you're suddenly free of sleep and drowsiness. your coffee arrives silently. you hold aemond's hand, his elegant fingers make it easier to stay on your feet.

he leans down a bit to kiss your collarbone. you fix his hair with soft fingers. "you need to drink your coffee before it gets cold." he says before kissing below your ear. "we can leave when you finish."

[mochalate]

[intro] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 560 Atsumu discovers that the only thing worse than online dating, is dating advice online. a/n: oh look at that, another atsumu fic!! this one is less stressful for me though. its pretty short, with a cute little plot that won't cause me planning paralysis. making edits for atsumu is always so fun <3 i hope you'll read it!!

[chapter 1->]

r/relationship_advice • 3 hours ago

u/fattytuna95

I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

It's not as bad as it sounds. She's not really his girlfriend.

I'll try to explain.

We're colleagues, sort of. (Me and her— I'd rather starve to death than work for my brother.)

Last month, someone took a picture of us leaving the office. I was only walking her to her car but the person who took the picture wanted to imply that we were dating.

And that wouldn't have been an easy rumour for her to handle, so I got my brother (identical twin) to post a picture with her on his socials.

Obviously, just one picture wouldn't work to convince anyone, so they've been meeting up a couple times a week (they have similar interests, so they were friends already) to be seen together.

Now here's the issue— I never saw her like that before, and I thought it was just fucking annoying to watch people be lovey dovey, fake or not... but one of my other colleagues said it sounded like I was jealous.

And fuck, I am.

Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her out? I reacted pretty badly to the original picture. And I'm worried my brother likes her for real (those photos they're posting are kind of convincing...)

Edit: for everyone asking, no, I can't ask my brother. he'll know why, and if he really does like her I don't want to mess with it. and if he doesn't he won't let me hear the fucking end of it. i can hear the best man speech already.

↑ 25 ↓ •••

u/unicornpoodle • 2 hours ago

lol dude (I'm assuming you're a dude, unless you're a girl who unfortunately is built exactly like your brother) are you sure you like her and aren't just jealous of your brother being happy? fake or not

↑ 50 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago yeah i'm sure. I cut out a picture of one of my teammates and pasted it over his ugly mug and it made me even angrier. ↑ 35 ↓ •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 2 hours ago

Oh hey!! I recognise you from the atsumu miya subreddit!! That's so cool you have a twin just like him!! And his brother got a gf recently too!!! (I think they're fr tho lol.)

Okay hmmm this is a tough one. wdym when yuo said 'reacted badly'??? and what was so bad about the rumour in the first place if it's an option for you now???? this is kinda weird ngl.

↑ 42 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago do you really they're the real deal??? I kind of laughed. And now that I look back at it, I think I might have looked way too eager to put it out there that we weren't dating. like I was disgusted or something. :( I wasn't, I just didn't want her to have any trouble. :( :( I'm sorry, I can't explain the situation any more for privacy reasons. ↑ 20 ↓ •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 1 hour ago

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

lmfao you guys are either celebrities or highschoolers with this kinda drama

(also you keep calling your brother ugly, but then say you guys are identical? huh????)

↑ 5 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 55 minutes ago This is kind of an insane idea, but it does make sense. Maybe I'll do it. (and you wouldn't get it.) ↑ 2 ↓ •••

first chapter tomorrow! please like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed it :) it keeps me going lol [my other fics->] divider: @/cafekitsune

[totalswag]

the last anon gave me an idea, so I'm requesting you

How Drew asks actress y/n to go out on a date, without the friends, only with him this time? How the first date goes? How he/she confesses his/her feelings for each other, without kiss? I mean, we don't kiss at the first date, it's like "see you soon" right?

Also love ur writing! <3

first date gone well — DREW STARKEY

authors note ooo i really like your thinking! definitely see drew being the type to kiss maybe on the second or third date for sure. super sorry that your request is coming out late. so close to 900 followers!!

summary actress!reader and drew go on their first date.

warnings drinking, flirting, shyness, soft!drew

Drew and you exchanged numbers after the party. You haven't stopped texting each other since.

Drew asked you out on a date after a week of texting. He maintained an interest in getting to know you more, and you reciprocated. It's been a while since you've felt this way about a guy.

You were instructed to dress casually for dinner, since he is taking you to an Italian restaurant. There's a surprise at the end that he thinks you'll enjoy.

Drew knocks on the front door; you grab your belongings as you walk to unlock it. When you see each other, you both smile.

"Hey, how are you?" Drew asks, drawing you in for a tight hug; "You look really beautiful too," he says, pausing to admire you.

He smells so wonderful, holy moly!

Blushing so hard right now.

"I'm doing well, and thank you; you look handsome," you say, blushing quickly, hoping he doesn't notice how he's already influencing you, even though the date hasn't even begun.

By the time you arrived at the restaurant, Drew had parked his car and walked around to open the passenger door like a gentleman. He let you walk in front of him, placing his hand softly on your back as you entered.

Drew and you sat in a two-person booth near the bar. You both ordered a glass of champagne with a side of iced water. There were several options on the menu. 

"This place is wonderful Drew, thank you," you exclaimed, your gaze fixed on everything in the restaurant.

He smiles, "I'm happy you like it. I was browsing for places to eat and remembered you saying this type of restaurant was your favorite, so I thought this would be an ideal spot to take you."

Everything in your body slid down to your feet. Knowing that he paid attention to every detail you told him indicates his character and good intentions. You felt your cheeks turn red and butterflies in your tummy.

The two of you spoke about work. At the moment you are starting to work on a new rom come movie; you cannot wait to start filming. Drew has been working on season four of Outer Banks and leaving in two weeks to film in Marco.

After dinner, Drew and you returned to his car. He let you choose the music for the short drive you were about to take. You plugged your phone to the car, scrolled through your playlists, and chose the more relaxed option.

Lana Del Rey, West Coast.

You begin humming the melody while closing your eyes and moving your head side to side. 

Drew begins singing a few words, taking you off guard. You turn to face him, surprised that he is singing Lana Del Rey, one of your favorite artists.

"I didn't know you listen to Lana," you say out loud, pointing to the screen.

Drew grins, "Well, I have sisters who listen to her, and the more I listened, the more I liked her music," he adds as he turns the corner leading to downtown.

You feel yourself liking this man even more.

The two of you continue to discuss your favorite artists. Tonight you've learnt a lot about each other and will continue.

"Would you like to grab ice cream and take a nice walk on the beach?" Drew asks with a suggestive tone, secretly hoping you'd say yes to his question.

"That sounds like a good idea, I'd like that" you smile, "I love the beach so much, it's a safe place for me" you explain.

"The beach is somewhere to let go and relax your mind, no worries, no distractions, just peace and quiet" Drew replies.

"Exactly!"

Drew made careful to park near the ice cream business; there was a parking lot. It's going to be a busy Friday night in the summer. You both knew what you were getting into when you walked out together.

You walked close to each other, chatting rather than strolling silently. Throughout the evening, you found that you two can communicate without being awkward or bring up unexpected topics. You enjoy that about him.

A couple fans spotted you coming down the sidewalk and approached you for a photo. You politely snapped pictures and parted ways. They looked astonished to see you two out together.

"My favorite flavor is mint chip," you remark, pointing at the ice cream flavor through the glass.

"That's crazy you say that because thats my favorite flavor" Drew responds, smiling.

Drew paid for the ice cream, leaving a tip for the nice workers. You two could tell it made their day. They kindly asked for pictures too.

The sun began to set as you walked along the beach and ate your ice cream. The cool breeze, the sound of the waves, and the people looking out into the ocean; the scenery was breathtaking.

You pause to bring out your phone and take a couple photos of the scene in front of you. When you walk on the beach or visit the beach in general, you always take pictures.

When you arrived home, Drew walked you up to your front door.

"You know, I had a great night tonight, Y/N. "I'm glad you said yes to tonight and getting to know you better," Drew says, seeming anxious.

"I had a fantastic night, Drew, and you made it ten times better. You are quite something," you end your sentence in a flirtatious tone, hoping he will catch on.

Drew raises his brows in delight, smirking.

"Oh, really now?" "How about I take you out next week?" He speaks quietly, touching your free hand nearest to his.

"Yes, Drew." You are an excellent young gentleman who made me feel special today, and I would love to go out with you next week," you say, staring at his facial features and seeing how lovely he is standing in front of you on your porch.

"It was a pleasure tonight, Y/N; I'll text you when I get home." "Get some rest tonight, beautiful." He leans down and kisses your cheek before walking back to his car.

After closing and locking your door, you lean against the front door and reflect on what occurred tonight. You smile as you glide your body down onto the tile.

What an amazing night.

my taglist!

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[fountainpenguin]

Short Version: I don't even know how to begin explaining this, so take these 'fic doodles with no context.

Wish Fixers, my chronically unhelpful beloved...

Long Version (City Lights AU #ridspoilers beyond the above implication. Mentions of death and trauma; it gets pretty dark)

Nalooksthrough, I tag you below because I cited your co-dependent toxic friendship comic and said it was cool- If you don't want to click, that's all the tag was :)

So I started outlining my Dale backstory 'fic (Lemonade and Papercuts) since I am the most predictable person alive and of COURSE I can't resist 7 years of trauma and intimacy anxiety <3. But planning a 'fic like this requires many pieces and many questions.

First and most obvious- How did Vicky lure in Dale? From previous planning, I've already decided that since they're the same age (maybe one year off), they probably knew each other in school or activities.

Ex: Squirrely Scouts & Cream Puffs... Not unreasonable- Throughout the series, many kids participate and the organizations seem to have a big following in Dimmsdale. Vicky's sister Tootie is in the Cream Puffs and Vicky is seen bossing them around in the Season 0 episode "Scout's Honor" ("Oh Yeah! Cartoons"). There's a comic by the same name depicting Remy in Squirrely Scouts (after "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" but before he gets his memories back in "Remy Rides Again" and I always thought it was cute). I mean, look at him:

Pictures courtesy of the FOP Wiki

It's not unreasonable that Dale - who's also rich - might've gotten into that (especially since Doug is big on the cowboy theming and of all the rich parents, he's probably the one most okay with his son playing in dirt). Something scout-related could be an option even if Dale and Vicky went to different schools.

A friendship that gets increasingly toxic until it spirals into full-on abuse sounds really interesting (and @nalooksthrough portrayed this idea beautifully imo in THIS comic I can't stop thinking about).

Sounds fun to write, so let's go with that. What's next?

Hey, remember when 7 years ago, I headcanon'd H.P. as Dale's godfather because of this doodle in Da Rules that specifically refers to Pixie godparents and depicts a fluffy-haired kid in a purple shirt?

I recently found out I still had Dale listed as a godchild of H.P. on his full character profile on my fanfic sideblog. I was waffling over whether to retcon that (since I hadn't yet done anything with it), but I started brainstorming whether I COULD do anything with it.

I've always written Wish Fixers in 'fic [e.g. Origin of the Pixies] as a therapy business run by H.P.'s dad (which H.P. bought off him out of spite despite not being licensed for therapy) but, like...

Does Jorgen know H.P. isn't licensed? I can't see why he would... As far as he knows, H.P. owns and runs the place- especially given my lore that Wish Fixers has been in his family for many generations. Sounds qualified to me!

In "School's Out! The Musical" (episode that Da Rules screenshot is from), we learn Pixies are at the back of the line for godparent work, even under creatures like unicorns (Hence the Musical's plot requiring them to remove magical creatures from earth before they could assign themselves to Flappy Bob).

I said in a recent liveblog post that I'd always imagined this was a punishment given to them due to H.P. absolutely failing as godfather to Dale- Thus, the origin of the doodle on the page for that rule. But... I never decided what happened.

See, Dale SEEMS like a guy who would qualify for a fairy. He was probably pretty miserable under Vicky's 7 years of torture and he's still holding onto that trauma in his adulthood.

DID he have a fairy?

I'm just saying, we know from S4's "Wish Fixers" that H.P. is legally(?) allowed to make contracts that swap a fairy godparent with a pixie one if godkids choose to sign of their own free will... Hmm... I'm connecting dots I don't think I like... (I am lying).

I mean?? Dale clearly did not get out of the pit due to magical interference. If I'm committing to the doodle being Dale and reflecting an actual godfather-godson dynamic between him and H.P., then something sure went wrong there. I can't NOT make Dale suffer...

What on earth could've made Dale sign a contract for something a fairy couldn't give him? We know from "Nectar of the Odds" canon that he wished to see his dad, and thanks to previous liveblogs, I DO already have a headcanon of Dale being extremely desperate for his dad's love... Hmm... I can work with that.

I went down a rabbit hole trying to answer the question of how Vicky secured lemons for 7 years for Dale (and other kids) to work with. Here are some lemon tree facts:

- Lemon trees bear fruit after only a few years - They can bear fruit multiple times a year (depending on variety) - A single lemon tree can produce 1,500 lemons in one growing season - Dimmsdale is in California - a state known for lemon orchards.

That feels likely... An orchard of even a few trees can keep you going for a while.

But lemonade doesn't sell for much compared to other things Vicky could've set a kidnapped child up to do (Ex: In "Microphony," she has kids doing a bunch of other tasks like answering phones for her babysitting service, painting houses, and washing cars).

So... WHY lemonade? What is going on that makes this the thing Vicky has Dale do for 7 years?

And who owns the orchard? I need Vicky to obtain lemons without being stopped for 7 years.

Is it a Dimmadome orchard? Maybe, but several episodes imply Vicky's not familiar with the Dimmadomes - and she probably would have turned Dale in for cash reward if given the chance - so those are two things I need to keep in mind.

Does the orchard belong to her family? That's a possibility- Vicky is shown drinking lemonade after "Nectar of the Odds." She definitely could've bought it - It can't be too expensive unless prices were jacked up after she lost her cheap labor - but it's a drink she's seen with in multiple episodes. She definitely likes it.

And we know from "Timmy's 2D House of Horror" that Vicky's parents are terrified of her. It's not likely they'd stop her from taking lemons from the family orchard.

One problem... If Dale goes missing when he's about 9 (Closer to 7 or 8 in my planned timeline), Vicky is also 9 or younger. Are her parents scared of her when she's that small and inexperienced in the ways of the world?

In "The Switch Glitch," she's 5 and seems mild and sweet until 10-year-old Timmy mistreats her- She clearly didn't have memories of Timmy, implying she totally regressed to how she acted when she really was 5. Worth pointing out she goes off the deep end and chains up Cosmo and Wanda, so... she IS mean even at age 5. But also, she's 5. She wears the same purple hair bow in "Switch Glitch" (at 5) that she does when Timmy drains the meanness out of her in "Vicky Loses Her Icky," which is interesting.

So that begs the question... Can I turn my Dale backstory 'fic into a double story of Dale abuse AND Vicky going from a pretty innocent child to Totally Messed Up? Keeping in mind that according to Vicky in A New Wish, Vicky IS the one responsible for abusing him and he "spent 7 years' worth of Saturdays in a factory underneath a lemonade stand."

If that's the way I want to play it... Something happened to send Dale and Vicky down the dual victim-and-abuser path, destinies intertwined. And for some reason, Vicky stuck with the lemonade theme.

Dale just says he spent his Saturdays "in a factory underneath a lemonade stand." It's not out of the question he and Vicky made more lemon products than just lemonade, especially given Vicky's love for money (and those 600 lbs of lemons one tree can produce in a year). We can assume they changed locations a few times or someone would've found the trapdoor on Timmy's lawn. Plus when Dale started his abuse, Vicky hadn't started babysitting Timmy, whom she only met when he was 8.

So, I've set Dale up to be lured in by Vicky because they were friends. I like the idea of things gradually getting worse as Vicky slowly morphs from a friend into a very cruel person. If Vicky was bullying him, what stopped him from just... leaving?

Vicky's transformation was probably subtle if he stayed for so long..... I also pointed out in a recent post that Doug's underground milk empire where he uses hypnotized people for labor bears a striking amount of similarities with Vicky's lemonade stand, even down to the general vibes of "trapdoor entrance" (although it's implied there's another entrance in small building).

And if we want to be technical about things... We don't know if Doug and Dale pressed charges against Vicky. She clearly continues to babysit Timmy and other kids after "Nectar of the Odds" (Season 2).

In Season 4 ("Channel Chasers"), Doug remarks that Timmy's parents should've guessed Vicky was evil because of the Chip Skylark song "Icky Vicky," but he doesn't mention Vicky kidnapping his son. That's.... sus. He even offers to buy a car from her in Season 3's "Engine Blocked" (after Dale's escape).

Why would such a powerful guy let all of that slide? Did they just not have enough proof? Did Vicky wipe the place clean? Did Dale "not want to make a big deal about it" because he was so exhausted and grateful, he just didn't want to think about it or struggle with the legal system? Was he covering for her?? Was he scared to speak up?

... Did Dale not tell his dad the whole truth about where he was?

What if Dale was - in some vague and early concept way - in on the lemonade scheme from the beginning, back when he and Vicky were friends and she wasn't so cruel? Maybe she turned on him and sentenced him to the pit before long?

Why the underground-ness of it? Why the lemonade, which probably doesn't turn much profit... as lemonade. Unless you have unrestrained access to tons of lemons that you can turn into multiple products - Dale DID call it a factory - and no one is stopping you from accessing them...

... but how do you set up a situation where kids have access to a whole lemon orchard - presumably carefully maintained - and the adults don't take it away from them (Because... surely they would've found Dale and multiple other kids if they strayed close).

And Dale didn't leave. He does in "Nectar of the Odds" - apparently of his own volition - but not before. Was he kept there mentally as well as physically?

We KNOW Vicky can't be monitoring him 24/7 because "Nectar of the Odds" is the only episode depicting her paying attention to him, while others show her doing many other things in many other places (though it's worth noting Dale says in that episode that "Vicky's kept him locked up for so long").

Did he stay so long because it was the perceived better fate up until he miraculously crossed paths with his dad (via fairy magic) and took the risk? Would he have gone back in?

Maybe it wasn't supposed to get this out of hand. Dale and Vicky were young when this started... Somewhere between 7 and 9 (given that Dale was kept there for 7 years and Vicky is 16 when he escaped and he tells 9-year-old Dev this happened when he was Dev's age).

Maybe there was an accident. Something not just Vicky, but even Dale felt the need to cover up, especially in regards to the orchard and the fact that it needs to be Vicky's consistent source of lemons (and not something she lost out on before Dale's escape... an illusion of ownership maintained. Kids can't own the orchard, but what if they fooled people into believing it wasn't owned by kids?)

Hmm... some kind of accident that got two mostly innocent kids into huge trouble, thus setting up a horribly intertwined fate where if one of these toxic co-dependent friends backs out and squeals, even the squealer might suffer worse compared to trucking along on the cruel existing path.

tl;dr - if Vicky and Dale accidentally killed the orchard owner but they were kids and terrified to tell an adult lest they go to jail for life so they hid the body in the basement (or like ?? threw it to the coyotes or hyenas that inexplicably lurk on the fringes of Dimmsdale??) and are trying desperately to wipe their hands of this by pretending the lemon orchard is still operational so no one investigates until they can figure out a plan, and then Vicky hardens herself as a trauma response and manipulates Dale into believing it was solely his fault and she'll pin him with murder charges if he gets cold feet and turns her in, and he's miserable and gets a fairy (then loses his fairy via Pixie contract through Wish Fixers, presumably in an attempt to negotiate a way to protect himself from Vicky and somehow not gaining the ire of his father) and then H.P. (lawyer and unlicensed yet de facto therapist pulled two ways) is suddenly Dale's godfather and trying to comprehend what the flip is going on between misery and manslaughter while he's also juggling Gary, Betty, and Flappy Bob at the same time in preparation for the Musical because we know he spent 37 years on that plan...

... Would that be one messed-up yet hyperspecifically canon-compliant 'fic or what?

These thoughts have been haunting me all weekend and I HAD to get my "I'm not that kind of lawyer or therapist" joke out of my system, so there's your context. #Sorry. Is this the direction the actual 'fic will go? ... It's not the direction I really had in mind, but ?? It's off the wall and therefore I must shake it in my teeth. I can't not write Dale backstory this horrific. what. hey.

[kirkwallguy]

i rly think DA's companions peaked with rivalries lol, like that can create such interesting dynamics, when rivaled these people are still following hawke and you can still romance them, Interesting!! THat's cool! why are they doing that, staying with someone who's disagreed with them the whole time or done things they find objectionable - you get different dialogue in cutscenes too, they react to how you treat them (thinking with Merrill you can just chose to not give her the thing to fix the eluvian and you get a different scene after the quest) You can be mean, you can support them or not and they respond to that, it feels like your choices are affecting the characters around you. (diff game but alistair confronts you about Isolde and if you killed her, the kid, or got help, i'd have loved more of that!! more characters going "hey this was fucked up of you, why???" or "I'm glad you handled this" and then you can talk about it more, the companions having Thoughts on your good or bad behavior and actions and voicing it!) also I think not being able to just chat with the companions was a silly choice, especially with the fact that rook can be a crow or shadow dragon etc, wdym we cant just talk about that with the gang??? ask for their thoughts on it all and they ask for rooks, rook could voice support or question what the group is and what they're doing (kinda like with Wynne and mage warden, you can talk about the circles and voice your dislike or support for them), rook could ask for more information and if they know they could share, or they won't if rook isn't a part of that group and it's all meant to be secret or something - and maybe if you ask again when they have high approval they'll tell you anyway cause they trust you, more opportunities for lore and worldbuilding as well as exploring the characters a little more??

idk im :/ rambling lol, i just really enjoyed how much you could say and do in other games, dav feels limited? And like nothing was perfect in the other games but I feel like there were so many more opportunities to learn about everything and the characters felt so much more involved? I do love that the companions talk to each other at the lighthouse like thats great we get to see those dynamics more outside of party banter!

i LOVE the rivalry dynamic and it really helps with each playthrough feeling unique, a hawke who is besties with merril is so different emotionally to a hawke who rivals merril, and it feels like there's a near-endless number of combos? also being able to push back on companions is something people have been complaining about a LOT in dai and dav, being able to spend the entire game disagreeing with a character and still see their entire story (WITH extra dialogue and sometimes entirely different cutscenes to acknowledge the fact that you don't have a good relationship?) it solves such a fundamental problem with relationships in rpgs and i don't get why it isn't more frequently used lol

and yeah i can understand if they wanted to save money not doing chats in the lighthouse (tbh. the inquisition skyhold dialogue options were just annoying and useless to me especially when you had to exhaust them to trigger certain quests), but it just feels like it creates a distance between you and the companions when they can all have conversations with each other at the lighthouse but you can't speak to them? it just feels like such an important feature for the genre and the only other game in the series that doesn't have it is the one that was made in like a year

[khaire-traveler]

what are ways to connect with hermes as a psychopomp/chthonic deity? aside from like when an actual death occurs. im realizing i never really have, but id like to!

Hey, Nonny, great question! I don't often see interest in this topic.

A big part of honoring Hermes' Chthonic aspects, from what I have seen, has actually been honoring the dead themselves. During the celebration of the last day of Anthesteria, for example, offerings were given to both Hermes and the souls of the dead, honoring them alongside each other. A specific food offering, called koliva, was given on that day.

With this knowledge, a good way to honor Hermes Chthonios/Psychopompos would be honoring the dead. Doing such things as visiting a loved one's grave, leaving flowers at graves (with permission, of course), and even interacting with ancestors can be ways of connecting with him more. I think another great way of devoting to him is showing kindness and respect to your fellow human. While this can be for Ouranic Hermes as well, I think having compassion to others (not at the expense of yourself) is still a great devotional act to Chthonic Hermes. As a Psychopomp, I'd have to imagine he has to be pretty compassionate towards the souls of the dead to effectively do his job. I'm sure he's helped terrified souls, furious souls, and confused souls cross the threshold into the afterlife, so practicing that same kindness towards others in your life is a great devotional act. Help life be easier and more enjoyable for one another. :) Simply working to enjoy your life can also be good. Trying things you've always wanted to try, engaging in activities that make you happy, volunteering for causes you care about - such activities could all be dedicated to him. Enjoying the life you currently have is an underrated form of devotion, in my opinion, and it's something I've found Hermes likes a lot (he's even actively helping me with it).

Something I like to do to as well is engage with media that discusses death. Two movies I recommend watching with Hermes Chthonios would be Puss in Boots & The Last Wish and Coco (I know Coco is a different culture, but the way it approaches the topic of death is very nice, I think). Also, media like Ask A Mortician on YouTube works because it engages your curiosity - a trait Hermes seems to value - and helps resolve any fears you may have towards death/educates you on the topic.

As for offerings to give to that aspect of Hermes, I would say incense that reminds you of his specific energy is a good option. You can give him classic scents he normally likes as well, such as frankincense, lavender, and myrrh. Black gemstones or rocks make a good offering as well; I'm personally a big fan of black tourmaline to represent Chthonic deities. Dedicating the tarot card Death to him from one of your decks (if any) could be good. Speaking of, any art you make of him works perfectly. In ancient Greece, butterflies were thought to be the souls of the dead, so butterfly imagery would be great, too. Giving him drink offerings such as black coffee, warm milk with honey and cinnamon, and lavender tea would work. Maybe also dedicating water placed under a new moon (I would specifically give it to him at night). A reminder that these are mostly based on UPG (some are historical)!

If anyone else has more suggestions, please feel free to share!

I hope this helps a bit. I hope you enjoy connecting with Hermes on that Chthonic level. Good luck to you, and have a good day/night. <3

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

October Poll Results!

It's November 1st, and I was very relieved to see that we got another update! It's a small one, which is to be expected, given the announcement in the last Progress Report, but knowing that updates in general will remain monthly is still good to know!

I'll skip the teaser images to get to the Poll Results first, since they shouldn't be too surprising, if you checked them at any point. In a nearly 5:2 ratio, the option to ship Episodes 3A (Decay) and Episode 4 together has won. (An option with Nemlei interestingly calls "Poetry" several times.) Again, I expected this, even though I voted to ship Decay by itself. The most interesting part of this section to me, are the last couple sentences. In it, Nemlei seems to basically confirm that Decay is finished, or at least very close to being finished, and the majority of work will now shift onto Episode 4. I don't expect Episode 4 to take a year to make, unlike what Nemlei seems to cheekily be implying. The impression I've got to far is that it's the resolution to the story. The Climax ( ;) ) and Falling Action. It's not going to be very long, is what I mean. Nowhere near as long as Episode 3A, anyway. So, with that settled, let's check out those teaser images!

First, we see Andrew and Ashley hanging out in some strange looking lighthouse. The large eye in the middle might remind you of Six Eyes, which is very well might be, but... that eye doesn't look very demonic to me. It's got a big pupil and lashes, with a star in the middle, and the windows surrounding it are also plastered with stars, and are different shades of bright colors. Looks more... wizard-like, to me. It very well could be the same lighthouse... or a version of the same lighthouse, that we saw Ashley trying to climb as the unreachable stair taunted her, but we'll have to wait and see. More importantly... why are they here in the first place? Is it JUST a hideout?

Next image is a bit more interesting. Judging by Ashley's pose, it's possible that this is the middle, or the end, of a small argument between the two. It's the camping section again, which we've seen quite a bit of, now. Andrew saying "You bring my demons out." with that smug look has some BIG implications. Obviously, it's related to the demon world, but what specifically? Did we get a glimpse at Andrew's SOUL? Did Andrew summon a demon of his own, or is this the aftermath of Ashley bringing Andrew with her into the demon world, like she was asked? I'd say it's probably some combination of the first and third, given we don't see any evidence of a ritual here. Though they easily could've just cleaned it up. But, what could they be arguing about? Maybe the Demon's reasoning for wanting Andrew to tag along wasn't something Ashley was happy with. Or maybe she just saw something about Andrew she didn't like. Whatever it was, I reckon it'll probably have a choice for us to pick.

Lastly, we have this silly little comic. I quite like it when Andrew and Ashley are drawn like this lol. But hey, it seems that Decay will have more options than I thought! We also got a glimpse at the main conflict of this route, it seems. Andrew's morals decaying. We already got glimpses of that, given the whole murder-suicide thing going on. (Though I'd argue that would be the most noble thing Andrew would've done, even if for the wrong reasons.) But it seems we also have the ability to go deeper into the relationship between Andrew and Ashley... in more ways than one!

Ashley herself looks a little indifferent to it all. Could just be a joke for the comic, but Ashley has always shown relative indifference towards this idea... when she isn't trying to get Julia to kill herself, anyway. Knowing that we'll be having all these options puts some of the previous teaser images in a bit of a different light, and it also make me wonder what the main theme of Burial will be. I guess instead of having these options with their relationship, they'll just... bury their feelings? And depending on how successfully that goes, you get different paths.

That's all I have for now. Thanks for reading!

[lover-of-skellies]

Don’t know if you’re still doing this but has anyone asked about inks smoochability?

It's been a year since I've done anything with the smoochability ratings, but hey. There were a few skeletons I hadn't done this for, and Ink was one of them, so I figured I might as well :P

All my logic is under the cut if you wanna look at it, but at the end of the day, Ink gets a smoochability rating of 9. He's one of the safer options, surprisingly enough, so if you'd like to smooch him, go right on ahead. Just be prepared; he could end up accidentally nipping or throwing up ink on you if you get him too excited

1) Is Ink's mouth dangerous at all? I don't believe it would be. His teeth are flat and standard, though I've seen some depictions of him that had little fangs, too. There are no parasites in there, no mysterious diseases/viruses you could catch, and a kiss wouldn't kill you; in fact, the worst thing that could happen would be Ink getting too excited and throwing up ink in your mouth and on you in general. While that's incredibly gross to think about, that's more of a health hazard than a danger factor, since if you kiss him, you'll at least leave without having any blood drawn. So, 2 points for safety

2) Would he bite? Not intentionally. While he IS like adhd incarnate and while he DOES do things that are a bit impulsive (see: everything involving taunting Error), I would assume he knows that biting people is bad. There is a chance that he might bite accidentally if startled, but for the most part, no, I don't see him being a biter. 2 points for not munching on anyone's lips

3) Are there any health hazards to the smoocher? Uhhhh yeah. It's the fact that if he gets too excited, he vomits ink. That in and of itself is gross, but not overly harmful. Then again though, there are different types of ink that exist, and we don't know what specific type he vomits. The impact that accidentally swallowing it might have on a human person could vary, depending on what exactly the type is. Worst case scenario, it's toxic and you need your stomach pumped asap to get it out, and best case scenario, it's yuckydisgusting and only makes you slightly sick for a short amount of time. The hazard level is up for debate here, but I'll still give him at least 1 point since death is not a guaranteed outcome

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? Sort of?? I know he was from an incomplete AU and was sorta. Left alone in the vast nothingness, until creators' feelings started raining down on him and he started experimenting with them. It'd really suck to be the only vaguely self aware person from your home, and then be alone eventually, surrounded by nothingness, so that does give me at least a little sympathy. So,, 1 point. It's very unfortunate, but it's not sad enough that I feel like crying over it

5) Does he deserve a smooch? Ehhhh, this one is up for debate. Personally, I'd say no, since from what I know and remember of his canon story, he never really did anything that would make him deserving of a smooch. 1 point, since maybe under the right circumstances he'd be deserving, but as is, I'm not really feeling it

6) Is Ink cute or cool? In a way, yeah, he could be considered cute and cool. He's cute in the "small guy with 0 thoughts behind those eyes" sense, and then he's cool design-wise. His first design was interesting and unique, but it had a lot going on, and then his updated design has less going on visually, but it's still pretty interesting and unique. If I was shown a silhouette of him, I'd be able to identify who he was, so. 2 points

When we add up all of our points and take everything into consideration, Ink is a 9 out of 12 :P he's a safer option, but even then, he could still unintentionally give you a nasty surprise. This is the part where I'd add in a scenario to kinda lay out how it'd go, but like. It's hot here. I'm feeling lazy, and thinking is Hard right now. I have a first kiss master list in my pinned post, which could be something to consider checking out if you're curious at all!

[tfdtreasurer]

<3 erinep!!

i have no real reason for liking it as much as i do, maybe im just weird ?

Not weird at all anon!

You say you have no reason but I can think of plenty. Erinep is one of those ships that I'm shocked isn't more popular. In many ways, they have an interesting dynamic that makes for good storytelling.

They're both trolls kind of known for their unrequited crushes, so it makes intuitive narrative sense to have them get over it through each other. Nepeta's flaw is that she lacks the courage to make romantic advances out of fear of failure. Eridan's flaw is that she makes romantic advances with the expectation of failure and thus creates self fulfilling prophesies of rejection.

Eridan is so weird...

It's their flaws that led to the canonical obstacle to them as a ship, the fact that they have gotten off to a rocky start romantically. Eridan having gossiped with Karkat, is aware that Nepeta has feelings for somebody else, but in true Eridan fashion, attempts to ask her out anyways. Nepeta thus diagnoses her as a creep and insincere. Considering that my own interpretation of Eridan is based on insincerity and how weird Alternian society makes you, yeah I'd call that fair. Creep is certainly strong language that would suggest little chance for romance developing but lets not forget whose Nepeta's moirail is, and what she calls him in her own words. She's well aware that hemospectrum hangups lead people to be way weirder than they really would be, and as one of the most compassionate trolls, she's probably sympathetic to that. It is in the same conversation that you get her calling Eridan insincere that you get her feeling bad that she died. Because Nepeta is just that nice.

Getting over it

That being said, they still both require some character development to make the ship work, which from a storytelling perspective, is good. They don't need to be each other's moirails or anything, I approve of Meowrails and would not want to disrupt that, so other characters can help drive their development instead (*Cough cough,* Kanaya, but this is the erinep post). Nepeta has two main paths: giving up passively and not asking Karkat, or ripping the band-aid off and asking him out. The second option is in my mind the best for character development as it provides closure. However, there's also a parallel narrative decision to be made: does Eridan tell her what will happen, since she knows, or will she let Nepeta ask Karkat out anyways. I'm a complicated girl and so I think the third and most emotionally complicated option is the best: have Eridan encourage her to ask Karkat out. It's in keeping with Eridan's approach to Kanaya's crush on Vriska, and isn't necessarily mutually exclusive with Eridan telling her what will happen. They can have a conversation where she warns Nepeta what happened with her, the emotions she felt, but also recognize the necessity of asking anyways. It'd be a good moment for Eridan's character to develop too, recontextualizing for herself her rejection by Feferi. And bam, voila, hey presto, you've got them both taking their first stepping stone of emotional maturity together. From adversity, progress.

Feferi's #1 hater propaganda

If you see this blog you should know that I'm Feferi's #1 hater, and so Eridan perhaps being honest with somebody would lead to her revealing why she was such a desperate loser in past (the breakup+rejection combo leading to messy pinball-like attempt at rebounding). And while getting over the flush crush is required for both of them, I believe Nepeta would be kind of shocked at the nature of Eridan's moirallegience. What do you mean she just started calling you her moirail? She didn't consult you about that? What do you mean she thought the job was over after entry? She thought weirdo behavior stops on a dime? What do you mean she knew that you didn't appreciate it and she went on with it anyways? What do you mean she expected it to be a two way street? Me and my healthy moirail were always super clear about being moirails, and of course I stuck with him after entry. The gig with my own weirdo is practically full time, but you do it because your genuine feelings for the person. I did it because my efforts were appreciated by someone that recognized their issues as issues and wanted me to be their moirail. Hell, if you're going to change canonical events that allow all noncanonical shipping to happen, you might as well give Nepeta one successful "shipping moment" (the irony is not lost on me, shut up) by letting her matchmake Eridan with a moirail that would care about her (*COUGH. COUGH.* kan, but like also while I don't care about the recent pale erikar trend, that could be hella character moment for Nepeta to make that call).

Hunters

If your interpretation of Eridan emphasizes her brief environmental commentary, the fact that Nepeta lives fairly detached from industrialized society makes how they relate to each other interesting. Nepeta is if anything characterized as being very not wasteful, and in her own words: "i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean." This stands in direct contrast with Eridan who has resigned to how her occupation may be infinitely necessary and entirely justified, but is distinctly evil in purpose and function. It helps that although orphaning doesn't appear especially wasteful (the whole whale does get eaten), it draws on historical industrial whaling which was infamously wasteful. There's something very interesting there between, again, the most compassionate troll hunting for herself, and the orphaner hunting for somebody else. It would be an emotionally complicated mix of sympathy and disgust, made part tragic by the fact that Eridan transparently expects the disgust, but would be absolutely flabbergasted by sympathy. It continues the cute but somewhat tumultuous path that I think characterizes some of the best love stories.

Extra

There's also a few other little things that can tie them together and make good stories out of their ship.

If you see Equius' overprotectiveness of Nepeta as a significant flaw, he can be given development by Nepeta properly dunking on Eridan during a low stakes lover's spat. Proving that although she may have not played FLARP with the rest of the "dangerous" trolls, she's no less capable of handling herself. You can play it for comedy as it's always fun to see Eridan dunked on, and Nepeta could ride her around by the horns like a Left for Dead jockey as Equius looks on proudly. For anti sea dweller reasons maybe? We'll keep working on it, Equius.

Speaking of FLARP, they're both RP dorks. Common on alternia so perhaps nothing really special, but the distinction between FLARP and RP is more significant than the distinction between LARP and RP (astonishing, I know). FLARP, an acronym which is already losing its meaning to me, is kinda psychotic and so I'm inclined to agree with Equius that it should be avoided. Nepeta toning Eridan down from FLARP+orphaning that was her hobby to a more healthy and low stakes RP would be both awkward and cute. Plus it can serve as a character moment for Eridan where the orphaner dualscar character is retired and she can fully embrace the 🌠 wwonderful wwhimsy of wwizardry 🌠.

And sometimes it's just the silly little things that can justify a ship. Maybe the cat likes fish. Maybe the military history nerd likes trenchcoats.

IDK, erinep is just cute. Solidly approved, anon, erinep has been placed in the "works really well" tier just below GOATED tier.

Whew, yet another tantric Homestuck analysis sesh. People insane enough to have read to the end: Don't forget that hopping anonymously in the asks to suggest Eridan ships for me to spend time analyzing is entirely free.

[sureokyeahwhatever]

i finished vampire the masquerade bloodlines after chipping away at it for a couple weeks after work. Those first 2/3rds of the game are a genuine masterpiece, but man, that last third gets really, really weird and racist.

The thing is, is that I actually have very little to say about that first 2/3rds. It's just good. The design is great, it's well balanced, it's open ended, it has great characters. It's wonderful. This part of the game feels like a real, worthy successor to Deux Ex. There's just nothing more to say, I think.

...

And that's why I almost have a hard time believing it's written by the same people as the last bit. The whole game up to that point (up to just before chinatown) is pretty darn smartly written with some relatively cogent social commentary. The quality of the missions also takes a really, really steep dive in that section too (lots of run and gun hallways, lots of extremely buggy areas, shitty boss fights, etc. But that's honestly understandable because balancing the endgame of an ImSim is practically impossible). Idk, it feels like a totally different game. I could almost just forgive all of that though, if it weren't for the ungodly and seemingly genuine racism with regards to the east Asian vampires.

Like. Ok. If we're being VERY charitable and we just flatly forgive all of the misguided-though-not-malintentioned 2000s era attempts at humor-via-stereotype (dialogue options referencing "tentacles" directed at a young japanese woman; old chinese guys who are always loud and drunk; jingoistic WWII-surviving japanese soldier; Chinese businessman speaking in riddles and mentioning the I-Ching; so on and so on) the whole handling of the "chinese vampire" storyline is psychotically racist.

You first hear of these guys -- the Kuei-Jin, which I learn from the wiki is a portmanteau of the Mandarin word for ghost and a the Japanese word for person, which... ok. -- as being basically like animals. They slaughter who ever they see, lots of people in the bourgeois faction see them as a nuisance, the people in the anarchist faction see them as "invaders from the east," which already had me like "Jesus fucking Christ, maybe these anarchist guys aren't cool after all". But anyway, you go to Chinatown to talk to them and -- by my estimation -- they were basically the same as everyone else. They're protective of their territory, they're secretive, they're paranoid of outsiders... I mean, yeah, they're fucking vampires and apparently all the other vampires see them as sub-human, so yeah, I'd be paranoid and secretive around me too.

The thing is, is that you have this anarchist friend who you tell everything to -- Jack -- and I wanted to go tell him "hey, I don't think these guys are so bad. Maybe we misjudged them" or something like that. And there was a dialogue option along the lines of that, but when I said it, his response was something to the effect of "don't let them sweet talk you with their 'spiritual path' bullshit. That stuff ain't for /us/". Which, I heard and again, said "ah! Interesting writing decision! We're learning that Jack ALSO has flaws like everyone else! he's not just some perfectly cool, levelheaded badass -- he has unjustified prejudices just like everyone else!" So I continued the story under the assumption that, yes, while the surface level of the whole "Chinese vampire" thing was being handled in a really immature, racist way, and in-universe all the other factions seemed to see them as exactly that -- racist stereotypes of conniving, backstabbing Chinese mafia goons -- this was all setting up an interesting "let's all learn to put our cultural differences aside and defeat those rich assholes who want to rule LA"-style ending. This would not be the case.

There was a moment towards the end that I THOUGHT confirmed my suspicion. You are told by the leader of the bourgeois faction to convince the anarchist faction to ally with them so they can, together, take down the Kuei-Jin. Around this time you also are intercepted by the leader of the Kuei-Jin who straight up warns you "hey, that bourgeois guy set me up. He's about to set you up too. Be careful. I hope we can be friends in the future." So I get this information and go straight to the anarchist faction with the intention to say "Ok, bourgeois guys are obviously doing a power play. Now's the time to join with the Kuei-Jin and take them out. We'll settle our petty differences later." (Side note, yes, I understand they were recently at war, but war happens in these situations. The best way to prevent another war is actively making peace. Not by just constantly threatening to go BACK to war). But no such option was available. Instead, all the options were different variations on "Let's join with the bourgeois faction and kill those Chinese guys!" What? But I don't want to kill those guys! And I don't really trust either of these other factions either because the anarchists are racists and the bourgeois guys are, well, bourgeois guys.

So eventually the "ending-tron 3000" comes up in the form of a conversation with a taxi driver which, as far as ending-trons go, is pretty cute. If you decide to ally with the Kuei-Jin two things happen: one, everyone hates you because it's completely impossible to convince anyone that they are anything other than parasites, and two, they kill you in a cutscene and you die in the ocean, which, all things considered, is probably the worst possible way this whole story line could have been handled. There was an opportunity here to have an exceptionally interesting moment where you bring people together to fight in solidarity against those who seek to concentrate their power over the city and all it's inhabitants. There could have been an ending where you work together with the Kuei-Jin and the anarchists to get rid of the bourgeois faction, render the "anarchist" faction system redundant, and allow LA vampires to establish their own federated society where people can live where and how they please without the iron fist of some Ivory tower pretty boys telling everyone how to live their lives. You could establish a system of vampire democracy across LA, with all the benefits and negatives that it brings. Would LA then be crushed under the heel of the bourgeois faction coming in from other cities? Or would it be able to stand the test of time and serve as an example for other cities to rise up and do the same? There's some interesting stuff here, both politically and for individual characters as perhaps you have to work extra hard to get Jack and the rest of the anarchists to believe that the Kuei-Jin are, despite superficial differences, just vampires like they are and that they all share common interests.

Instead, the game goes hard in the other direction. It calls you an idiot for trusting those eastern invaders and basically says "you should have listened to everyone else when they were mumbling under their breath about how you can't trust those Kuei-Jin as far as you can throw them". i.e., you were an idiot for not being racist enough. Like, I can understand the general theme of "trust no one", since it permeates through the whole game, but to literally introduce a faction of "conniving foreigners" who everyone hates, and then to have that hate be perfectly justified just feels boring, hateful, and honestly like a waste of a third of what was otherwise a great, great game.

Anyway. The game is good. Great, even! It's really hard to make an ImSim, so even though the last third has some rough (ROUGH) design flaws and bugs, I'm happy to look past that. However, it's really easy to not just put Chinese people in your game and make them evil stereotypes that everyone rightfully hates, so that's harder to look past.

I would say the ideal way to experience the game is to marathon the first chapter up to downtown, play less and less frequently from downtown up until the end of hollywood or so, and gradually lose interest around the time that you're asked to go to Chinatown. I think if you did that, you'd end up remembering the game very fondly.

[larissa-the-scribe]

Hey guys! I'm trying to set up "author platform" stuff, and had a question for the general public. As readers/consumers of media, if you were to sign up for an author newsletter, what content would you most like to receive?

I am in the process of figuring this out, and while I have a few ideas I do want to know what the people think lol

Further information below the cut:

Content: short stories, art, sneak-peeks of upcoming projects, deleted scenes. Stuff in that vein. More fiction than information, etc., though probably also extra information behind the content (and there would be obvious limitations on stuff I could share--for example, I could share parts of a short story that I would plan to submit for publication, but probably not the full thing since that would make it harder to get it published).

Analysis: examining different forms of media through different lenses, to see what we can learn about how to be better writers/readers, or just for funsies (the most probable "lenses" in my case would be worldbuilding and character writing).

Behind the Scenes: this would be more of a look "behind the curtain"--how or why I made some decisions, looks at notes and concept art, "in progress" looks at writing and art, showing some of my processes, but also generally getting a look at the more personal side of things. Like pictures of my workspace, or looks into what life is like as a writer, that kind of thing. The goal would be to strike a balance between entertaining/interesting, but also hopefully informative (like if you want to write stories, maybe it gives you some ideas about how you could do notes, etc).

Reviews: Pretty straight-forward. My thoughts and opinions on what I have been reading/playing/watching/listening to, mixed with analysis. What did a think about a particular book and what did it do well and what did it do badly, and was it a good read.

Links/resources/recommendations: Articles I've read that have been helpful, books that taught me more about writing craft, different programs I use for different things, but also probably recommendations in the sense of "check out this book," or "check out this author," etc.

I was originally going to include "advice" as an option, but at this point in time I feel very underqualified for that, so if that would be something people are interested in they may have to wait a few years lol.

It is also pretty likely that there will be elements of all of them at different times, but I guess... what would you prefer to be the bulk of a newsletter you received regularly? What would best strike the balance between entertaining and informative? Or would you rather it just be one or the other? Feel free to also include your reasoning in comments or reblogs! I'd be interested to hear what all people have to say!

[djuvlipen]

Hey! I wanted to ask you for an advice. For a long time now I've been noticing how the Holocaust denyer accusations became an ultimate discourse shutter in all topics concerning gender and identity. Im doing masters in women's psychology and i suddenly get a lot of this type of accusations when i say that i won't be including transwomen on the basis of being biologicaly male. Bc in their perspective if i don't find tw oppressed enough i deny them being targeted by the nazis in the past. i know that there's a logical fallacy here and that this crowd is being academically dishonest when making those accusations but i just can't find a right way to address it effectively. i always have so many things to say and in turn my opponents tend to become very defensive. And quitting and walking away is unfortunately not an option.

I imagine for someone like you, who's seriously studying holocaust and romani genocide, it sounds pretty much abhorrent and distasteful as it is. I wonder if you happen to have any experience with this sort of account and counteracting them in discussions and conversations? any strategies or something like that?

Hi! first off, love that you're getting a masters in women's psychology, that sounds so interesting

Yeah, unfortunately that's something I also have to deal with on the regular... (Kind of related) once I was giving a presentation on my research subject during which I defined 'woman' as 'people born female who are thus socialized into performing a feminine social role', and at the end of it the PhD student grading me told me I was validating Nazi ideology by using that definition because I was basing myself on regressive and offensive biological determinism -_-. Unfortunately I have to say that I only could nod and smile like "oh yeah you're so right haha, silly me, I hadn't thought about it that way!"... but it was a special occasion (she was grading me and I wanted a good grade). If going the 'educating them about the Holocaust' road doesn't work, I suggest maybe saying this:

not every bad thing is a genocide. trans persecution is bad but it is not akin to genocide and saying so isn't minimizing how bad trans persecution can get

genocide as a concept is about racialized forms of persecution (persecution based on race, ethnicity, religion, nationality). it's a concept that first and foremost has to do with antiracism. removing racism from conversations about genocide, to instead focus on persecution based on gender identity, does a disservice to our understanding of racism and genocide and hinders antiracist activism

Maybe they'll be more receptive to these. Personally that's what I say in informal conversations and it works.

If nothing works though I'd suggest just powering through and staying silent. Don't waste your energy on people who are so hellbent on misrepresenting you that they will twist one of the most horrific events in history to fit their narrative. You, your time, your energy are worth better

[skyward-floored]

Hey peg, got a non tri force heroes related ask (woah!, shocking!, unprecedented!) whats your opinion on my favorite lil guys; ravio, yuga, and hilda. since ALBW is also my second favorite zelda game. which weirdly enough is also the ONLY other zelda game I've played (to competition) weird how that works ya know? also, hows the youse? I'm pretty good rn, on my mid winter break so I'm feelin nice and practically useless.

Oooooogggghhhh albw makes me feel so many things it's one of my favorite zelda games even though I rarely talk about it (I also haven't played it in a hot minute so if I get details wrong here that's why and I'm not proofreading so hehe this might be a disaster)

(also spoiler warning if anyone hasn't played albw)

I LOVE Ravio. So much. He's goofy and silly and a has a little pet bird and has a rabbit hood and dances when he makes money but also he's more or less a refugee trying to save his doomed home in the only way he can think of. He's a buisness man and his prices are ridiculous but he has concern for Link as well, and is actually his counterpart and their dynamic and everything makes me crazy. Also he's a coward and I relate to that so much. I feel like a coward so often, and I know a lot of people feel inspired by Link's brand of courage but honestly Ravio's is just as important to me if not more. Cause yeah he's a coward. But he has enough courage to leave his home (go to another WORLD) to find somebody who isn't cowardly and who can help fix things and stop Hilda from making a huge mistake. And it pays off. Ravio is a hero in my eyes and I love him.

Yuga I don't have a huge opinion about, but he's an interesting villain. I do like how he merged himself with Ganon, that was a gutsy move I did NOT expect the first time. Plus his whole thing about being obsessed with beauty and paintings and things, it's creepy and stuff, but makes him stick out more in my mind then some other villains. Other then that I don't have a lot to say about him lol, but his whole thing with manipulating Hilda and stuff was interesting too. I'd love to see more of his and Ravio and Hilda's background/story. also his weapon is neat.

Hilda is great <3 Her turning out to be the bad guy was REALLY unexpected (like I maybe suspected her a bit but I was so busy with her encouragment and saving the world and everything I wrote it off), and her motivations were SO interesting. She's making horrible manipulative decisions, but she's trying to save her people, her home. It's the only option that's really left to her and she's desperate to do something to help them, but Ravio helps her see that destroying another world isn't the way. And like, she just seems so scared to me. She's trying to pull together a kingdom that's literally falling apart, Yuga is whispering poison in her ear, but she's so determined to save her people, at any cost. She's an awesome character, and her face at the ending after Link and Zelda restore Lorule's triforce just about makes me cry. That's the face of somebody who lost her hope and thought she deserved nothing, and got everything. She can't believe it. I love albw.

...Also you asked how I'm doing, the answer is not bad! Swimming in too many AUs at the moment, but it happens. Trying to get reasonable amounts of sleep and failing recently lol. I've just been really tired and it's very annoying. But aside from that, pretty good.